Today, I turn 34 years old. It’s my last year of checking the “18-34” box of surveys.
This is also my first birthday without my mom. I would normally call her at midnight and wish her a happy birth day (it was the day she gave birth, after all), and about eight hours later, she would call me and wish me the same. We started doing this in 2000, my first birthday in Florida, and it became a tradition. So, I feel a little empty not having her to call.
Daddy called me earlier today. He had to go to the Philippines to attend services for my aunt who passed just before New Year’s. I asked him to visit Mom at the ossuary for me. If I were there, I’d do it myself.
Anyway, I’m not expecting much for my birthday. My sister gave me my present when we were up in New York, so I’ll open that in a few hours, and my friend T-Dawg gave me a birthday present, too, when we saw everyone on New Year’s. I bought myself a little tool kit for the car that I found ridiculously marked down to $1.25. Even in this crappy economy, I can at least afford that! It’s got a measuring tape, interchangeable screwdrivers, zip ties, and a bunch of other random stuff. I only gave it a cursory look before I decided I had to have it – and at that price, it’s really silly not to. Plus, the measuring tape will always come in handy for those trips to IKEA.
The Boy is still awake, though, which never bodes well, but as he had a midnight snack (I’m a bad mommy, I know) of a wheat tortilla and some turkey slices, I’m hoping he’ll sleep in a little tomorrow morning and not demand breakfast at 6 o’clock. But, of course, he’s also mid-growth spurt, and I’m not about to deny my child food – hence the midnight snack, which I brought upon myself by not forcing him to eat dinner when it was time for dinner. He ate some pasta, nibbled on turkey, and had a couple of bites of rice pilaf, but he was otherwise completely uninterested in food. And how do you get a toddler to sit down and eat (because, of course, I chose tonight to pack up the high chair) when he doesn’t want to?
Another conversation topic I would have had with Mom tonight, if only I could call her.
So, happy birth day, Mom! Thanks for laboring and giving me the gift of life – and for nurturing, raising, and continuing to teach me for so many years afterwards. And thanks, too, for being my friend.
I miss you so so much!